In the year 2020 I got diagnosed with Type-1 diabetes. I waited a few months after having symptoms to go to the doctor because I thought these symptoms were a sign of stress. I internalised stress as a part of the body that you ‘just have to push through’. After my diagnosis I wondered how I did not recognize the weight loss, low energy, hair loss and a lot of bathroom visits as something alarming.

I noticed that the relationship I had with my body was distorted and that I ignored the vulnerabilities that I felt towards my body. I started to call the relationship I have toward the vulnerabilities I felt toward my body soft spots. During my Masters at the Master institute of visual cultures I explored parts of my process in rebuilding my relationship with soft spots by engaging in the relationship with my periods, body size and queerness.

In order to engage with soft spots I practised staying with soft spots. For that I developed the process of first noticing soft spots, then valuing them, developing a relationship with them and learning from them. This was approached using the following: recording and writing - explored as a way to have a more observing attitude towards soft spots, sketching - explored as a way to connect with my body from a different perspective and finally by rug making with the craft of tufting as a form of capturing and celebrating valuable moments with soft spots.

By sharing my journey of softness I want to take up space for vulnerability as a form of resistance situated in a social system where softness often isn’t valued.